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Keeping that in mind helps us be aware of the type of relationship we have. It helps us to know which qualities we need to work on, and which ones move forward positively on their own. The beautiful thing about love is that when you love someone else, you love yourself at the same time. One of the great truths about love is that you can only love someone else when your self-esteem allows you to love yourself.

Love is a delicate gift that you can only find in the deepest part of your being. If you share your happiness and dedication with others, they multiply. You will feel yourself grow. Your life will be full and brimming with love and happiness. Why deny these feelings and the impulse that we all have to show them?

Think of love like a tree. At the beginning you plant a tiny seed, full of strength and the desire to sprout. Little by little, if you water it well, it will grow into a small tree.

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The first year it will be a little unstable. But as you water it, its trunk becomes more robust. If you take care of it then over the years it will grow stronger and stronger. At the beginning, the excitement of a new love makes everything roll along smoothly. Relationships in which each person asks for a lot without giving hardly anything in exchange. It is selfish, banal, superficial love and it is the product of consumerism.

That means that when the other is no longer useful, you throw them out and look for someone else. It is the kingdom of replacement. There is a very popular belief that being in love with someone is enough to keep you together forever. This is one of the truths about love that is only a half-truth.

You have to have deep feelings towards the other person for a relationship to work. But you also have to feed the relationship everyday. The small things are what keep the flames of love alive. Even though it hurts and makes you cry. To a certain point, you might be grateful that someone opens your eyes to the truth. She will try to understand you. Her intention is not to make you cry or ignore your suffering, but to be with you and be your shoulder to cry on.

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  • Melanie Greenberg, coach and mindfulness expert, has some useful advice about love. It is irrational, a skill that requires effort and practice. Both generate activity in the same subcortical areas in the brain: the putamen and the insular cortex. Although we normally consider hate as something tremendously negative, we have to recognize that is a feeling as interesting as love. Still, we should be careful. Physical attraction is an important part of love for most of us, but emotional love is different than lust.

    But love can also be a lasting mental and emotional state in which we care deeply for each other's wellbeing, feel moved by each other's pain and motivated to help relieve each other's suffering. Research on mindfulness and self-compassion show that practicing these strategies regularly can develop our brains to be more positive and empathetic in a matter of months.

    Monks who regularly practice compassion meditation have a different rhythm of brain alpha waves than beginning meditation adherents, or the average non-meditating person. Mindfulness and compassion meditations increase activity in brain centers connected with empathy and positive emotions, decrease activation of our fear centers, and make our brains more interconnected —a trait associated with the secure attachment pattern. A large body of research shows that loving connection is beneficial to long-term physical health—and loneliness and a lack of social connection have been shown to shorten our lifespans as much as smoking.

    Just being a member of a church, synagogue, or community group lessens this effect.

    10 Truths about Love You Need to Know | Connecting People to The LOVE that Heals

    For men in particular, marriage improves long-term health—and the death of a spouse is a risk factor for earlier death. When we deliberately focus our attention on our feelings and actions toward a loved one, we begin a positive reciprocal spiral of mutual appreciation and happiness. Research also shows that expressing gratitude in words or actions actually creates positive emotions in the giver as well as the receiver.

    Loving one person, even a lot, does not mean you have less to give to others. In fact, the opposite is true: Love is a capacity you can build within yourself through mental concentration , emotional engagement, and caring actions. When we focus on and savor our loving feelings for one person, the internal feelings of satisfaction and connection we experience can motivate us to be more loving in general. One of the preconditions for loving feelings is a sense of safety and trust. This reticence can be overcome with therapy or, sometimes, by a partner who repeatedly demonstrates trustworthiness and care.

    However, if your repeated expressions of care are not reciprocated by any heart-softening in your partner, it could be time to consider moving on.

    7 Great Truths About Love

    Expressions of caring, compassion, and empathy can inspire these feelings in others. That being said, researcher Art Aron and colleagues at Stony Brook University have shown that, when thinking about their partners, the brain scans of a minority of people reporting long-term, intense love for their partners look the same as do the scans of individuals who report being newly in love. Acevedo, B. Neural correlates of long-term intense romantic love.

    Aron, A. Couples shared participation in novel and arousing activities and experienced relationship quality. Barbara, L. Frederickson Love 2. Hudson Street Press. Melanie Greenberg, Ph. Do you want to be notified via e-mail when Dr Greenberg posts a new article on The Mindful Self-Express or her personal blog? Like her on Facebook. I think I'll write a post on this. Jealousy may be hard-wired. The instinct to guard our territory or romantic partner probably increased people's chances of surviving and spreading their genes thousands of years ago.

    That being said, it isn't love. I think it's more fear-based. Jealousy is guarding what you have.

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    Envy is wanting what somebody else has. It has an implication of wanting to take something away from someone else. A coworker gets a promotion you feel you deserved more. Is that jealousy or envy? You spouse says 'he's a cutie'. This post reveals a different viewpoint of understanding love. Luckily, I found one more scientific source where love has been explained with comparisons with attachment and attraction.

    I know there are feelings of jealousy or envy that negative, because the make you feel bad about who you are, yourself, and your position in life. But jealousy or envy can also spur you on to say, "I admire what that person has achieved, gained in life.

    10 Truths about Love You Need to Know

    I wonder how they got to that point, I want to understand what they did and how they came to achieve what they did, so I can obtain a similar or better success on my own turns. You can feel envy about something you don't have but want, but you feel jealousy over something you already have but are afraid of losing,.

    In my opinion, the mindset that someone else has something that want is motivating. It can motivate us to work harder to get there role model or it can motivate us to put down the other person or try to take their success away from them. As you point out, the first motivation is constructive. The second is destructive and often shame-based. Limerance is an obsessive desire for another combines with an obsessive craving for reciprocation. Limerance is not love because we are not able to see the other person as a separate being with their own aspirations- they are a projection of our own needs.

    This list is great, I loved the premise! Would have been really great to see a few links to the sources of the studies, though.

    What we've learned so far about love and the brain.

    For example this list contains verifiable sources for each "fact". These facts are based on research by the top love researchers. What a great post. I love the idea of love, but have always connected it with ups and downs. Which is what our emotions do to us. When I am in love my heart fills up so much so that I could bust and then when my partner and I have had a fight, my heart feels so heavy that lifting myself off the couch takes every inch of will power I could muster.

    I agree when we feel a sense of safety and trust that fight or flight behaviour seems to quieten down. And the only time I have experienced this in a relationship is if I have felt the relationship threatened in anyway. I think love moves along with it us and changes as we grow with our partners, not necessarily remaining the same.

    I can't see how this is possible. She is a former professor, national speaker, and the author of The Stress Proof Brain. Research suggests green spaces can protect you from stress-related diseases.