A Black teen with a chronic digestive condition writes a love advice column. A bruja falls in love with a trans altar boy. Two Bay Area teen girls meet because of cranky customer service and a disdain for our tech-obsessed world. Since anthologies by nature include multiple stories by different authors, they allow authors to tell stories and write characters that they might otherwise struggle to get traditionally published. These anthologies are purposefully designed to give space to at least one unpublished author per anthology.
In editing A Thousand Beginnings and Endings , Chapman and her co-editor Ellen Oh intentionally sought out up-and-coming marginalized authors.
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Anthologies can question the status quo on a variety of topics — and romantic relationships are no exception: Who gets to be in a romantic relationship? What do relationships look like? How do relationships begin and evolve? Which teens can see themselves in relationship stories?
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We have sexual desire when we want to have sex , not when we love someone. The older I get, the more sceptical I get.
I’m frightened by sexual intimacy
Sex is a neutral and colourless thing, and a higher or lower sex drive is caused by hormones that are hard to control. For hundreds of years, societies and religions have tried to harness this drive. But for the past 60 years, we in the west have been quite sure we know best: every other age and culture has been wrong. We are right.
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Sex is the most profound form of human love, the deepest expression. What a load of nonsense. How were we ever taken in? Because we wanted permission to have a good time. By conflating sex and love, we have young people wanting plastic surgery to change their bodies. We have the technology. They should be having surgery, too. I am such a romantic. I believe in love from the bottom of my heart.
Where has that kind of love gone to? Will we ever get back there again? Nowadays, for people who have been married for a long time, sex is the minefield that separates them. Everyone feels they ought to be having it, ought to be enjoying it, that it ought to be an expression of their love.
They are too tired for groundbreaking sex, but they hunger for affection. Human beings crave to hold and be held, but we stay on our side of the bed in case a sexual performance is demanded. Love and erotic love are two very different emotions — I would argue they are almost contrary.
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Love proper is to do with the other person: it is about the care, respect and understanding of that human other. Love like this grows, it cannot help it. The more of yourself you invest in another person, the more you receive. You become as one: their pain is your pain, their joy, yours too. The French are right: you cannot desire what you already have. In fact, another article I recently devoured was written by a French sex therapist.
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It was about how to have a fulfilling sex life in your 60s. I wanted to disparage it, as I do all the others, but she was absolutely right: keep yourself in trim, buy sex toys, watch pornography, have an affair if you dare, keep yourself aloof from your husband, sleep in a separate bed, use a separate bathroom.
If you want a good marriage, forget the hysteria about sex. How did we get here? Where did we go wrong? Why are so many relationships just so fragile? Erotic love, on the other hand, is about wanting something.